Continuation posts aren’t really our motive here on the Top of the Bottom Pile, however, a very good comment on last week’s installment of the blog Activity Breaking posed the question, “what about the conversation after you’ve engaged someone?”. Outside of business and relationship building, I’d say the average person encounters this hurdle the most. What to do after you’ve obtained the attention you are looking for.

Aside from just trying to kill time, every conversation you find yourself engaged in was started with the purpose of obtaining results. Last week, we used the example of approaching a person at the bar you find attractive. You want to know more about them, and maybe even ultimately take them home for some alone time. We here at the Pile don’t condone pre-marital relations unless the other person is ridiculously hot in both body and mind, but we understand this happens.

After you’ve approached this person, you’ve broken their activity using our method, you now have to keep that person engaged long enough to obtain the goal, which in this case, is dirty dumpster sex in the alley behind the bar. We’ve all encountered the scenario where we decide, possibly against our better judgment, to give someone our ear and a shot to “wow” us into buying into them as a person. They either succeed, or they crash in flames in their own awkward pauses, comments, and silences.

Always have a plan. Always approach the conversation with a clear path to the information you are looking for. First, listen. Gather up as much about the person as you can. Make the first few minutes of your exchange all about them. Their interests, what they do for a living and then wait for them to take the interest in you. When the conversation turns itself your way, which it will as you’ve given them reason to value you, answer with short “jury talk” answers. Instead of giving them all the information at once, spread it out. Not only does it give depth and bulk to the conversation, it lets your listener feel as if they are finding out the information for themselves, as opposed of having it “lectured” to them.

On top of giving the illusion that they are in control of the conversation, it’ll also ward off any negative stigmas such as bragging as they asked you, as opposed to you just giving them the information. More on this next week, folks.

Till then, Stay Piled.