A good conversation is stimulating for parties on both sides. More often than not however, we find ourselves engaged in a one sided exchange or a constant struggle for power in the moment. For example, you may have just gotten a dog and are eagerly awaiting some sort of scenario where you can drop this new information. You get to work, and your co-worker asks how your weekend was. Excited to share, you tell him or her how you just got a dog. He’s the cutest thing ever, his bark is so tiny but he tries so hard, he’s picking up on toilet training really quickly, and he’s just a new spark for your dull life.

Your colleague responds, “That’s great! My dog has been such a blessing for my family!”

Your dog? You asked about my weekend, how did we wind up on your dog? What just happened is called “1-up’ing” your friend or whomever it is you are engaged in talk with. Conversation without direction isn’t really conversation at all. Soon, you both begin jocking for position within the dialogue and it quickly becomes aimless palaver. It happens more often than not. Next time you’re talking to someone, watch how often they try to take the direction over and make it about them. It’s the reason a lot of first dates head south. One party contributes too much or not enough, and before you know it, they aren’t answering your texts.

The solution to this is simple; talk with people as opposed to them. You can find a lot more meaning, listening, responding, and contributing as opposed to being a glom when it comes to the energy of the conversation. It’s almost uncanny how the human race is predisposed by an ego to make everything about them, however, if more people took notice to this we could possibly break the habit and engage in rich discussions, as opposed to just finding out about 1 person’s dog, we could know everything about everyone’s personal life and possibly become more in tune with one another.

Stay piled, friends.

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